Hey Louis - I think your first pass storyboards are highly expressive of action and work well (though you'll need to unpack the action even more so through drawing when it comes to creating the assets for your animatic and commit to more of the specifics of what's happening).
... it's just that I'm a bit confused by your decision to make your protagonist... a lion. It does seem to me as if this decision has bubbled up from your preference for a sort of character as opposed to it being the best fit for your story: for example, for me now, the ending of your script is very odd, because you are asking your audience to imagine a 'boring world of office workers' that is nonetheless populated by 'lions' - this makes the office world immediately much less boring. I know that Zootopia etc creates a complete world inhabited by animals (boring office workers included), but you don't have time to put the logic in front of people. It's not that I take issue with the lion as an adventurer, it's rather that it changes everything tonally in regards to that ending. Myself and others are going to find it much harder to identify with your character now that he is a lion who is bored at work, as opposed to a regular person. I'm not sure if it's your intention to have the lion revealed to 'be' a person at the end, as your storyboard stops before the final scene of your script, but if that is your plan, it will not work.
If you're wedded to your lion character, I'd suggest not ending your story as it does so in the script, but ending it where you've storyboarded to, with the lion and the tiki character appearing as friends. That said, what I'd really encourage you to do is reflect on your decision to make your character a lion and think about 'why' you made that choice and what was driving it. If, hand-on-heart, you did it because you simply prefer the idea of drawing a lion explorer, then ask yourself if this is an example of 'style-creep' as opposed to a decision taken in the service of getting your story told most effectively.
Do not misunderstand me - your lion character is drawn appealingly, your storyboards are communicative and the action works on paper... but I have my suspicions you've just defaulted to something, as opposed to following through on the full potential of your story idea. You may find it less easy/less preferable to re-commit to a human protagonist, but my instinct is your audience will find your story more identifiable/readable if you do.
OGR 08/02/2019
ReplyDeleteHey Louis - I think your first pass storyboards are highly expressive of action and work well (though you'll need to unpack the action even more so through drawing when it comes to creating the assets for your animatic and commit to more of the specifics of what's happening).
... it's just that I'm a bit confused by your decision to make your protagonist... a lion. It does seem to me as if this decision has bubbled up from your preference for a sort of character as opposed to it being the best fit for your story: for example, for me now, the ending of your script is very odd, because you are asking your audience to imagine a 'boring world of office workers' that is nonetheless populated by 'lions' - this makes the office world immediately much less boring. I know that Zootopia etc creates a complete world inhabited by animals (boring office workers included), but you don't have time to put the logic in front of people. It's not that I take issue with the lion as an adventurer, it's rather that it changes everything tonally in regards to that ending. Myself and others are going to find it much harder to identify with your character now that he is a lion who is bored at work, as opposed to a regular person. I'm not sure if it's your intention to have the lion revealed to 'be' a person at the end, as your storyboard stops before the final scene of your script, but if that is your plan, it will not work.
If you're wedded to your lion character, I'd suggest not ending your story as it does so in the script, but ending it where you've storyboarded to, with the lion and the tiki character appearing as friends. That said, what I'd really encourage you to do is reflect on your decision to make your character a lion and think about 'why' you made that choice and what was driving it. If, hand-on-heart, you did it because you simply prefer the idea of drawing a lion explorer, then ask yourself if this is an example of 'style-creep' as opposed to a decision taken in the service of getting your story told most effectively.
Do not misunderstand me - your lion character is drawn appealingly, your storyboards are communicative and the action works on paper... but I have my suspicions you've just defaulted to something, as opposed to following through on the full potential of your story idea. You may find it less easy/less preferable to re-commit to a human protagonist, but my instinct is your audience will find your story more identifiable/readable if you do.