Some interesting ideas emerging here - it reads as though you really enjoyed researching this topic! There are a couple of sections that are a bit contradictory; here, for example, you say that the reproductive cycle is a key element of transhumanism, but then say the idea goes against it. It is good to show both sides of an 'argument', but the way you phrase it is crucial, otherwise it just sounds as though you are unsure (which is also OK, but make it clear!) So a simple phrase such as 'On the other hand' can introduce a counter-argument, here for example... 'On the other hand, this idea almost goes against the idea of transhumanism...'
'The reproductive cycle is also a key element of transhumanism in the film, the way in which the alien reproduces has transhumanist qualities. The facehugger that emerges from the egg attaches itself onto Kane and transforms him into a living breathing womb for the creation of a more advanced life form. This idea almost goes against the idea of transhumanism as it demonstrates the idea of transforming the human in a way to develop the creation of a more advanced lifeform.'
A couple of small nit-picks... make sure the film name is in italics each time. Be consistant with your referencing - you only need the surname and the date after the quote, and in the bibliography the names are arranged alphabetically by surname, followed by initial. You also need a bit more information in the illustrations list - see here https://www.uca.ac.uk/library/academic-support/harvard-referencing/
Your text is presented as quite a big block at the moment; maybe consider breaking it into smaller paragraphs with images inbetween at relevant places - you can then refer to the images in the text - 'as shown in image 3', for example.
Hi Louis,
ReplyDeleteSome interesting ideas emerging here - it reads as though you really enjoyed researching this topic!
There are a couple of sections that are a bit contradictory; here, for example, you say that the reproductive cycle is a key element of transhumanism, but then say the idea goes against it. It is good to show both sides of an 'argument', but the way you phrase it is crucial, otherwise it just sounds as though you are unsure (which is also OK, but make it clear!) So a simple phrase such as 'On the other hand' can introduce a counter-argument, here for example...
'On the other hand, this idea almost goes against the idea of transhumanism...'
'The reproductive cycle is also a key element of transhumanism in the film, the way in which the alien reproduces has transhumanist qualities. The facehugger that emerges from the egg attaches itself onto Kane and transforms him into a living breathing womb for the creation of a more advanced life form. This idea almost goes against the idea of transhumanism as it demonstrates the idea of transforming the human in a way to develop the creation of a more advanced lifeform.'
A couple of small nit-picks... make sure the film name is in italics each time. Be consistant with your referencing - you only need the surname and the date after the quote, and in the bibliography the names are arranged alphabetically by surname, followed by initial. You also need a bit more information in the illustrations list - see here
https://www.uca.ac.uk/library/academic-support/harvard-referencing/
Your text is presented as quite a big block at the moment; maybe consider breaking it into smaller paragraphs with images inbetween at relevant places - you can then refer to the images in the text - 'as shown in image 3', for example.